Just copy, paste in the names of your nearest and dearest, then print. Hours of fun for all the family!
Yes, it’s those (Insert your own surname) again!!!
We hope it has been a good year for you all. For us, 2015 was a year of changes.
______________ was released early on licence, and says he’s definitely not going back there again, as the ‘skunk’(as he calls it) is of such poor quality. He’s promised to finally get that job he’s been talking about for so many years, just as soon as he can ‘off’ somebody in a job that he fancies doing (whatever that means!!!!). We have to admit- ____________________ is very determined young man, so our hopes are high that he’ll finally settle down and find a good girl and a steady job like his uncle Alphonse.
___________ has come back from college early, claiming her tutors were discriminating against her for never attending any lectures or tutorial sessions because of her chronic tiredness. Her social life was apparently superb, though, and she claims that her sleeplessness was mitigated by being able to go out with lots of friends every night. We are so pleased to have raised such a gregarious child with such a positive attitude to life.
_____________ has just started his GCSEs. His teachers say he has great potential, which is a wonderful thing for any parent to hear after all that trouble with his laptop being confiscated during the raid by officers from Excise and Customs. Wayne says they can’t pin anything on him because the Dark Web is too complicated for anyone over the age of 13 to understand, and his personal earnings from a range of personal websites in Kazakhstan have certainly reached a point where we’ve stopped having to give him pocket money. Are we alone in feeling so proud?
On the other hand, _______________ tells us not to worry about what’s happening at his primary school, so we chose not to attend any consultation meetings with his teacher this term. After all, if you can’t rely on your own child to tell the truth, then who can you trust? We have always wanted our children to think of us as their best friends, and so naturally, we always wish to respect their privacy. And if they want to have their little secrets, well, what can you do?
As for us, __________________ is looking forward to retiring from the force next Summer, just as soon as the ‘gardening leave’ and disciplinary proceedings are out the way and before any possible threat of sentencing. He says he expects to get a full pension, and is looking forward to gaining useful employment afterwards as a security guard for one of the local high street banks. He says he hopes it’ll be a bank that likes to say ‘Yes!’ His brother Alphonse has been a real encouragement in all this, and says he hopes ______________ will be a veritable goldmine of information in future.
_______________’s habit is now under control, and says 'Tomorrow is Another Day'. She has been saying this for several years, but this time she definitely means it, honest, she’s definitely learned her lesson. She is still sometimes found wandering aimlessly in the street, but says this is all part of her therapy, and not to worry, and she’ll find her clothes soon.
As you can see, it’s so fulfilling to be part of a family who sum up what it means to live in Modern Britain today.
Wishing you all a wonderful and prosperous 2016...
_______________, _______________, _____________ and _____________ .