Saturday, 25 June 2016

Exclusive timetable for Brexit: what happens next

The official Leave campaign have just released the following statement about their immediate plans for managing the United Kingdom’s exit from the European Union:
Days 1-3: Finish getting bladdered and laughing at those Remain people. What were they thinking? Don’t they love this country, for pity’s sake?

Saturday, 18 June 2016

Not a 'Tragedy'- Why Words Matter

When horrible things happen to people, one word is regularly used by news-gatherers to describe the unfolding events: 'Tragedy'. The Orlando massacre or the murder of Jo Cox MP were 'tragedies', apparently, according to some newspapers and the BBC news. Sorry, No, they weren't, and we shouldn't say they were. Now, this might be caused by sloppy English teaching when these news-people were wending their ways through school, but they (and we) shouldn't use that word to describe those events. Why?

Friday, 10 June 2016

The House and the Rat- a story completely unconnected to the upcoming Referendum(b)

Septimus Dingle was a man with a large old house and a family he loved dearly. But one day, his youngest daughter came to him and said that she was sure she'd seen a rat near her bedroom at the top of the stairs. Or it might have been a mouse. She didn't know. but it was always exciting to tell tales and see what her father would do next. And it certainly worked this time. 

Thursday, 2 June 2016

The Curse of the Certain Sort of Granny

It is time to make a stand against Grannies. Or at least, a certain sort of Granny. There are too many of them, and government statistics reveal that they will form the majority of the British population by 2025. So like it or not, we are all turning into Grannies, or something like them. Some would say this is not a bad thing. After all, Grannies give you hugs, they bring you treats, and sometimes they even let you stay up late when they’re babysitting because Mummy's gone out ram-raiding.