Yes, it’s those (Insert your own surname) again!!!
We hope it has been a good year for you all. For us, 2015
was a year of changes.
______________ was
released early on licence, and says he’s definitely not going back there again,
as the ‘skunk’(as he calls it) is of such poor quality. He’s promised to finally get that job
he’s been talking about for so many years, just as soon as he can ‘off’
somebody in a job that he fancies doing (whatever that means!!!!). We have to
admit- ____________________ is very
determined young man, so our hopes are high that he’ll finally settle down and
find a good girl and a steady job like his uncle Alphonse.
___________ has
come back from college early, claiming her tutors were discriminating against
her for never attending any lectures or tutorial sessions because of her
chronic tiredness. Her social life was apparently superb, though, and she
claims that her sleeplessness was mitigated by being able to go out with lots
of friends every night. We are so pleased to have raised such a gregarious
child with such a positive attitude to life.
_____________ has
just started his GCSEs. His teachers say he has great potential, which is a
wonderful thing for any parent to hear after all that trouble with his laptop
being confiscated during the raid by officers from Excise and Customs. Wayne
says they can’t pin anything on him because the Dark Web is too complicated for
anyone over the age of 13 to understand, and his personal earnings from a range
of personal websites in Kazakhstan have certainly reached a point where we’ve
stopped having to give him pocket money. Are we alone in feeling so proud?
On the other hand, _______________
tells us not to worry about what’s happening at his primary school, so we chose
not to attend any consultation meetings with his teacher this term. After all,
if you can’t rely on your own child to tell the truth, then who can you trust?
We have always wanted our children to think of us as their best friends, and so
naturally, we always wish to respect their privacy. And if they want to have
their little secrets, well, what can you do?
As for us, __________________
is looking forward to retiring from the force next Summer, just as soon as the ‘gardening
leave’ and disciplinary proceedings are out the way and before any possible threat
of sentencing. He says he expects to get a full pension, and is looking forward
to gaining useful employment afterwards as a security guard for one of the
local high street banks. He says he hopes it’ll be a bank that likes to say ‘Yes!’
His brother Alphonse has been a real encouragement in all this, and says he
hopes ______________ will be a
veritable goldmine of information in future.
_______________’s
habit is now under control, and says 'Tomorrow is Another Day'. She has been
saying this for several years, but this time she definitely means it, honest,
she’s definitely learned her lesson. She is still sometimes found wandering
aimlessly in the street, but says this is all part of her therapy, and not to
worry, and she’ll find her clothes soon.
As you can see, it’s so fulfilling to be part of a family who
sum up what it means to live in Modern Britain today.
Wishing you all a wonderful and prosperous 2016...
_______________,
_______________, _____________ and _____________ .
XXXXX
No comments:
Post a Comment
Any requests of subjects for future posts? No idea too stupid for consideration. And yes, I know I am a bad writer, so don't bother saying that unless you can write something better. But maybe there's a topic buzzing around in your head that you'd like to see covered... because I've got a keyboard here, it's loaded with letters, and I ain't afraid to use it.