Breakfast

Scene: a breakfast room in a PremierLodge Travelinn, somewhere near Manchester.

Time: 8.37 am.

Waitress: Is everything all right, sir?

Customer: Well since you ask, it's all frankly, rather disturbing. This sausage obviously came from the bargain end of the range, where the nearest it came to being real meat was to be shown a photo of a smiling pig. This teabag, whilst being labelled as a 'Twinings Everyday Rich and Full Bodied', was obviously made from the sweepings off the floor that Twinings found left over in the warehouse after everything else had been sorted, packed and sent off to customers who actually like tea. Then we come to this allegedly fresh, but rather sinister glass of orange juice. Is it really meant to be glowing in the dark?

2017- a brief look back at a puzzling year

What a difference a year makes! As we approached 2017 just 12 months ago, many of us were sick and tired of the way 2016 had gone. So many celebrity deaths, so much disturbance, rack and ruin, all dominating news networks around the globe! Could 2017 be even worse? Quite frankly, we were all getting a bit nervous.

But what actually happened next is still rather puzzling. Let's go through the events of 2017 as they happened, month by month....